In our daily lives we come across many situations which become a source of worry and stress for us. This adversely affects our efficiency and our relationships. Normally when someone makes fun of us, makes sarcastic remarks, unnecessarily finds faults in us, censures us, accuses us, or does something crossing the limits of immorality, we feel sad and immediately start thinking of breaking our relationship with them.
The point to reflect on here is: will breaking up relationships lead to a solution? The answer is: not at all. On the other hand, the very same person we may be hurt by can become of immense benefit to us. What can we do to resolve a situation like this?
"And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah." (42:43)
"Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish (i.e., don't punish them)." (7:199)
"So overlook (O Muhammad (PBUH)), their faults with gracious forgiveness." (15:85)
The following hadith, provides us the best guidance regarding this.
Ibn Mas`ud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I can see the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) look like one of the Prophets of Allah whose people beat and made him bleed while he was wiping the blood from his face and supplicating: "O Allah, forgive my people because they know not." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
The Messenger of Allah was seated in a gathering with the Sahabah when he looked towards the entrance and said, "A man of Paradise is coming." At that instance someone who seemed to be very ordinary entered the mosque where they were seated. A Sahabi was curious as to why the Prophet .' said this, so he followed the man to his house. This Sahabi told the man that he was a traveler and stayed as a guest. For three days the Sahabi saw nothing unusual, so he finally told the man what the Prophet had said and asked him what was so special. The man thought for a long time and said, "There might be one thing — before going to sleep every night I forgive everyone and sleep with a clean heart."
Action Plan
1. Forgive people who have hurt you. Remember how the Prophet(SAW) reacted to the people who hurt him .
2. Forgiving others and asking for forgiveness is letting go of the past grudges and baggage.
3. Forgiving others is about YOU and not the other person. Chances are the person doesn't even remember the incident and you are still torturing yourself about it.
4. The fastest way to free yourself from an enemy and all associated negativity is to forgive. Untie the bindings and loosen yourself from that person's ugliness. Your hatred has tied you to the person responsible for your pain. Your forgiveness enables you to start walking away from him or her and the pain. Forgiveness is for you and not the other party. Freeing yourself through forgiveness is like freeing yourself from chains of bondage or from prison.
5. Stop telling the depressing story to yourself in your head. Get out of that vicious cycle. Start focusing on something else. Make dhikr, read quran but just get out of that rut.
Forgive all who have offended you, not for them but for yourself. Forgiveness is the economy of the heart, it saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits. when we forgive, we in no way change the past, but we do sure change the future.
We need to go through our journey of life showing patience while anticipating reward from Allah SWT and by following the principle of 'forgive and forget'. Remember that the Hereafter (aakhirah) is very close and that is when the people of patience shall be
rewarded with immense reward.
Life in this world is just an examination and to succeed in this test with its different angles and colors we need to continue building our character by keeping our focus on the Hereafter (aakhirah).
-- The point to reflect on here is: will breaking up relationships lead to a solution? The answer is: not at all. On the other hand, the very same person we may be hurt by can become of immense benefit to us. What can we do to resolve a situation like this?
"And verily, whosoever shows patience and forgives, that would truly be from the things recommended by Allah." (42:43)
"Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish (i.e., don't punish them)." (7:199)
"So overlook (O Muhammad (PBUH)), their faults with gracious forgiveness." (15:85)
The following hadith, provides us the best guidance regarding this.
Ibn Mas`ud (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: I can see the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) look like one of the Prophets of Allah whose people beat and made him bleed while he was wiping the blood from his face and supplicating: "O Allah, forgive my people because they know not." [Al-Bukhari and Muslim].
The Messenger of Allah was seated in a gathering with the Sahabah when he looked towards the entrance and said, "A man of Paradise is coming." At that instance someone who seemed to be very ordinary entered the mosque where they were seated. A Sahabi was curious as to why the Prophet .' said this, so he followed the man to his house. This Sahabi told the man that he was a traveler and stayed as a guest. For three days the Sahabi saw nothing unusual, so he finally told the man what the Prophet had said and asked him what was so special. The man thought for a long time and said, "There might be one thing — before going to sleep every night I forgive everyone and sleep with a clean heart."
Action Plan
1. Forgive people who have hurt you. Remember how the Prophet(SAW) reacted to the people who hurt him .
2. Forgiving others and asking for forgiveness is letting go of the past grudges and baggage.
3. Forgiving others is about YOU and not the other person. Chances are the person doesn't even remember the incident and you are still torturing yourself about it.
4. The fastest way to free yourself from an enemy and all associated negativity is to forgive. Untie the bindings and loosen yourself from that person's ugliness. Your hatred has tied you to the person responsible for your pain. Your forgiveness enables you to start walking away from him or her and the pain. Forgiveness is for you and not the other party. Freeing yourself through forgiveness is like freeing yourself from chains of bondage or from prison.
5. Stop telling the depressing story to yourself in your head. Get out of that vicious cycle. Start focusing on something else. Make dhikr, read quran but just get out of that rut.
Forgive all who have offended you, not for them but for yourself. Forgiveness is the economy of the heart, it saves the expense of anger, the cost of hatred, the waste of spirits. when we forgive, we in no way change the past, but we do sure change the future.
We need to go through our journey of life showing patience while anticipating reward from Allah SWT and by following the principle of 'forgive and forget'. Remember that the Hereafter (aakhirah) is very close and that is when the people of patience shall be
rewarded with immense reward.
Life in this world is just an examination and to succeed in this test with its different angles and colors we need to continue building our character by keeping our focus on the Hereafter (aakhirah).
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